Can I wake you up?

When things feel utterly rubbish and depressing and I am sad etc, music is one of the things that automatically makes me forget about the bad bits and reminds me that things are good. The Twilight Saga : Eclipse Soundtrack, for example, is an example of a compilation of amazing songs that can make me feel amazing after one beat of the first song. At the moment, I have a few albums that do this for me.
The Twilight Saga : Twilight , New Moon and of course, Eclipse.
The True Blood Soundtrack.
Band of Skulls - Baby Darling Dollface Honey. (Some unbelievably brilliant songs on this album, it is a must listen.)

I love music. I always have and I always will.

I played my guitar for the first time in months today. My fingers are very painful but it is worth it. I might go play piano later to. Who knows? I miss playing music and I wish I kept up with it because I suck at it.

I wish I was back at Rockness, seeing some of my favourite artists. That is something else that makes me uncontrollably happy ; seeing live music. There is just something magical about it. It makes me want to make music. I won't be seeing anyone for a while, I don't think. The only thing I have planned is Paramore in November. Exciting.

I just re-read all of the True Blood books. They are just like music for me. Somewhere to escape when this world seems so disastrous. This may sound strange since the life Sookie leads is pretty disastrous and must make me feel worse but it doesn't. I wish I lived in her world. With the vampires, the Weres, the shapeshifters, the witches and wiccans, the fairys and the telepaths. What a world it is! I get completely engrossed into the books. When I am reading them they are all I can think of and when I finished all ten I felt at a complete loss. I felt lonely. So, I began re-reading Breaking Dawn from the Twilight Saga. True Blood is definatly my favourite out of the two now but I will always love the Twilight books and I had forgotten just how exciting Breaking Dawn is! I cannot wait for Eclipse, the movie. I am hoping that the cinema in Lanzarote will be showing it. I do not care if it is in Spanish! I will know what they are saying.

I need this holiday that is only seven sleeps away. I think we all do. It is going to be so nice. A whole two weeks of family ; mum, dad, brother, aunty, uncle, cousin and Liam. Two weeks straight with Liam. Just what I need. Plus, the food is always amazing, the sun will be bright, the drink will be . . . expensive but worth it, the beaches beautiful and the craic will be flowing.

Yes.

Posting?

This is just for experiment purposes.

You can call us Autobots for short.

Things seem to be settling back into the normal routine. I like that a lot. I feel much happier now. The only downside to life is that my sixth year exams are in a couple of weeks. I dropped a subject last week because the strains of three whole classes were just too much for me. Letting myself down a bit but hey. I really need to get studying. I have my higher History extended essay on Thursday, I do not want to do it.

I have the hospital tomorrow. Is it really stupid of me to be frightened? It is just that the last time I went in, just for a check, I ended up having to get surgery, again. I really don't want that to happen again.

I am really tired these days. I need to stop trying to do everything. School, work and then going out. I am young, should I not be able to handle this three little things all together?! I guess not. Suck it up.

Everyone is talking about the Political parties lately and to be honest, I know very little if not nothing about what the France is going on. I looked up the Liberal Democrats earlier because people seem to like them, they seem alright. I am legally allowed to vote from November so I better get knowledgeable on politics.

I went to see Cemetery Junction on Saturday. It was very good. And before you ask, it was GOOD not just Megan Good. I found it very funny, it was just what I needed. Something to tell me to just go do something. Get on a train and go. I would very much like to do that one day. Once I have money. And some brains. And an idea of where to go. Good start I think.

I bought a denim shirt last Friday and I am very proud of it. I loves it. I am so happy that I got it. I think I look rather fashionable in it. Is that just me? Thought so.

I don't really know what I am doing here. Random things keep popping into my head so I am writing them down.

I am watching Transformers. I am in love with the Transformers movies. I don't remember much from the original TV series or anything, I know I did watch them though because my dad did, but I love them. I know that Megatron is a baddy but he has an awesome name. I hope that when I can eventually afford a car, it will turn into an Autobot and protect me from all harm such as all this alien robots that are after me. Jeez, they just won't let me be.

I'd like to work in movies. Or on the TV. It just seems like so much fun.

I am too tired now. Nighty night.

Dilemma Number One Million.

I am trying to decide my future. There are so many wonderful possibilities out there but which one is for me? There is so much that I would like to, I want to try a bit of everything. But, for today I have narrowed it down to two choice. I have wonder about both these things many times over my lifetime, so I haven't just thought them up today.

Radio DJ or Police Woman?

I would like thoughts and feelings. A little feedback from my peers. Tomorrow my choices will be completely different, I am betting. I am far too indecisive. Choices that are going to effect the rest of my life are going to be tricky. In most situations I am more likely to choose the decision that is more likely to end my life.

Being a police woman would be really exciting. Well, depending on where I lived but I really want to be an investigator lady. Solving crime, most of the time. I think I am just addicted to crime programs. I watched the first episode of Castle today, maybe that is why. Nathan Fillion, a man to make any woman smile. Just me? I do love Firefly and Serenity, that is why. As soon as I watch House, I will want to become a diagnostician. Hmmm, not smart enough.

Then, I have being a radio dj. I love music, I always have and I most always will and again, I have been listening to the radio today so that may be why I have chosen this. It seems like so much fun though! I would have a few people breaking there there radios just to never hear me again however. I do hate my voice too. 'I really really really hate that to myself, my voice sounds fine but as soon as I hear a recording, I want to shoot myself in the head. It is awful. How do people put up with it?!

I would love to do something in music or television or movies, something like that. It has always interested me and I have always loved singing and acting. Pretty shite though. Gutted. HEY! As soon as Darroch gets in at the BBC, I could bribe him to get me a job! Sorted.

I have so much homework to do. I feel like just quiting school. I quit.

I'm the Milkybar Kid.

I am just up, nine o'clock starts when you have no plans but a massive pile of homework to be doing is not a nice thing. Not that I will be doing any of the homework until the day before I return to school. I only have four weeks of sixth year left. Four weeks of high school, EVER. I feel invincible!

I had a really nice day yesterday. I was late for my bar training at the Lewiston but I got there in time to get a certificate. I hung about for a while to talk to Hannah and Isla. I have missed everyone that I work with since I haven't been working there much. Later, I got to see Yvonne who recently just moved down to Glasgow and who I haven't seen in a while. She came up to do some visiting and I got my chunk of her. We went into town to see Kick-Ass. It was awesome! I really enjoyed it. Yes, as I do most things but still, this was a good movie. I saw some trailers for movies I am looking forward to. The Disappearance of Alice Creed looks like a good wee thriller but I only want to see it because the young guy was in Monarch of the Glen and while that was on years ago, my family and I were obsessed. I may have seen every episode. Hot Tub Time Machine looks so stupid and hilarious. Fascinating of all, Robin Hood. At first, seeing all the posters and that I thought that it might be quite rubbish but the trailer I saw yesterday made it look unbelievable. And I would be pulled along to see it just for Russel Crowe. Oh Liam.

I have so much work that I need to be doing but I cannot bring myself to do it, I really can't. I know I should of started it last week but I have enjoyed having these holidays because getting back into life has made me tired and sore. I just realised that one of my deadlines is tomorrow and I haven't even started the work. Am I screwed, or what?!

Gleek.

Today, has been a good day. Mostly.

I got up early so I could get ready to go to Easter Study at school. As I was leaving my house I spotted a parcel on my back step. It had been teared open slightly. It also had blood on it. I began to panic, thinking what the france!? I ran upstairs and asked my brother if he was bleeding. He was not receptive. Then, I woke my dad up and he went out to see it where we found that it had gone. The parcel had gone. I think I went mad.

However, I drove to school. I stalled twice but hey ho, I am pleased with my progress because of all my practice yesterday. I did about one page of work in the whole five hours that I was at psychology study. I was instead coerced into watching Trololo, Best Bloopers of some fishing program ( Ohh Nelly!) and other various best bits from movies.

I then invited myself into town with Duncan and Calum Macleod. After dragging them through some shops in the Eastgate, we got a bus to the retail park where we bought tickets to see Green Zone, went to Burger King - I hadn't had one since Saturday! When I also had a Macdonalds - Tescos, met up with Stephen, movie time!

I really enjoyed the movie, as I do most movies. I thought there might of been more to it, like there was something else to happen but I liked it. I like Matt Damon.

After getting Stephen passport photos at the train station, in which he looked pretty solid, we caught the quarter past eight bus home to Drum with Cameron. It was a larff.

My scars have been hurting today and they haven't for quite a while now. It was kind of worrying me but I realised that this must be something to with them healing inside. It hurt to laugh. I laugh a lot.

My movie of the day is going to be Enchanted because I loves it. I have recently started to watch it again. When I get into a movie I watch it every night for a week or two until I find something else and then I repeat back. I remember forcing Liam to watch it one night and then kindly falling asleep. I really do love this film.

Well, it is back to school tomorrow until one. Then, I have my first shift back at work! I really hope it isn't too busy. I am excited though, to see everyone again and to get the moulah rolling in again.

Thank you for a lovely day! Sleep tight.

OH YEAH! PS. I am entering a contest from E4 to win a walk on part in GLEE! Hells yes.

Go On, Go On, Go On.

You know that I love my home and where I live, I truly do but I want to get away for a while.

I have always wanted to travel the world and now I am getting older I can see that dream in a not so distant future, hopefully. I just wish it was now.

I would love to go to Japan. If I did, I think it would have to be with my dad because he was the one that introduced me to some of the wonders that come from Japan. For example, Manga and Anime. And also because he wants to go too.
Then, I would love to re-visit Rome and I would go with my mum because I think she loves this place more than she loves me. I love it more than I love me so it is all good. I miss Rome, a lot. It was an unbelievable place and I would love to experience its wonders again and I know if I go with my mum it will be a little bit more chilled than the last time!
As for the rest of the world, I want to see it with Liam and my friends. Having the same memories as the people you are going to spend the rest of your life with is a wonderful thought.

If I had the money I think that I would be on a plane right now to somewhere warm, just for a little lie on a quaint little beach for a couple of hours. Peace and solitude for a little while sounds blissful, does it not?
Hiding in my room will have the same effect I am sure.

The next time I plan to go away is on the 4th of July with my family and Liam. Lanzarote, again. I have already been twice! Geez. I can't wait though. I do love it there. Not sure how I will like it when it is heaving though. I just want to go to the big aquarium that is there. One thing I will not be doing is going back to Timanfaya National Park. It was good, but I seriously thought that I would get to look into a big volcano and see all the lave etc. I was let down! Oh well.

Anyone want to walk me up to the pharmacy? Or just go for me? Cheers.
I don't really like doing things by myself, going places anyway. I will need to get used to independence. I am almost an adult. Only eight months or so. Crazy stuff.

P.S. I am eternally grateful.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has helped me through the last couple of months. Without you all, my friends and family, I think I probably would of fallen to pieces.

You are amazing people and I love you with all of my heart.
Even you Angus :)

If I Fall, If I Die

I have the most mental of all the mental dreams. Seriously. I had a dream the other night that I was swimming in the sea but i was looking up at my face and I was Declan from Neighbours. Then, I was being chased by this deranged sting ray beast. I swam and swam and swam until I reached shallow waters where there was jaggy coral and it re-opened one of my scars. I think that is what I am fearful of in real life. I knew that I was a teeny bit worried but nothing to the extreme of my dream. The cut was all flappy.
Eugh.
I am scared to get back into things, just in case I make things worse. In case I put myself back into hospital. I know that that is pretty much impossible, of course, well, for the reasons I was in before anyway. But I am a hypochondriac. I cannot help it.

On a lighter note, I had a dream that I was preggers but I couldn't remember how it happened. Now, that one was because I was watching 16 and Pregnant. However, they knew exactly how they got pregnant.

I cannot remember the ones that I had last night. Even after I said to myself 'Remember your dreams!'. Rubbish.

Long Time No See.

My last post was in September last year, oh emm geesus. So, I thought I would write something new, since I am really rather bored. Well, I am watching True Blood Series One and i am currently reading Book Two : Living Dead In Dallas, again. I truly am an addict.
I think that I would actually give anything to be in True Blood. Anything. I adore it.

I hate feeling like this, being sore. Having operations ruins quite a lot for a while. I am probably going to fail school again! And can you believe that I have actually started to want to exercise, me, exercise, it is crazy but I can't because of my belly. Gutted.

I want to go away. Somewhere warm. Drum is starting to depress me. Blah.

Back to good ole Sookie Stackhouse :)